24.4.08

freya lecht and dark


the sky were heavy like a witte hare layed down over the earth and a new koudeness set in. the promise of lenten time come and go like a sweet vision never to be. my eye were cool and steady like the bevroren pond but behind it were fishes that flopping around in desperate will to leef. they mouths gasping for the water though they were in it still. you could not see those fishes to look at me i were freya all the same.

when the tide turn against me i go back into the sneeuw and follow the track for a hind. for even if there is beauty the wereld and every hond in it expecting more than mere beauty. so i to put down the instument of creation and pick up another. it feel goede in my grasp again, very natural.

the lecht were going day to night and i work this time by scent and intuiton.

i turn off my hart and run and run. my paws did bleed but i chose not to feel it i kept on. and i did find the trail only it were not that of tender hind but a mighty stag. i thought to turn back, he so big and strong. and i were already aching so but cannot go back with niets. can i bring this creature down by my own power? i have to know the truth whatever the outcome.

so i werk harder. and picking up speed i smell that the stag know i coming now. i move with confidence and great speed and the branches slap my face and cut into my legs. i negeer it. i cannot hardly see the stag but i feel him and he werking as hard as me. for both of us know we have to be better than the other. I jump over a fallen fir but i so focused i dont see a pointed stok in the sneeuw and it pierces between two ribs. i cry out and fall to the other side. the stag is faded into the dark. i know i lost him and a tear come out of my eye and freeze before falling. i look thru it and see a million stars and it shock my mind.

i lost the stag. the million stars blurred now but i maak no sound though the warmth flow out of me with great abundance. finally i pick up and head home heavy and empty. all my mind can say to itself is i lost the stag and i have nothing to show for this matted fur and brown of dried injury.

and when i returned no hond feel sorrow for me. because when i set out to hunt, a pup that count on me always went into the sneeuw after me. he could not keep up and became tired. and he go to the edge of the pond to find water but it bevroren solid. so he step out a little to where the ijs is broken. and he fall through into the water. no one can hear hes cries ....he never tell another hond he to follow me. so he alone grasping to edges of slippery ijs, and they pieces breaking off. finally hes legs cannot paddle they too stiff now. he also put out a tear and saw the same million stars before he sink so far you cannot ever see him again, though he were so witte and so young he give off a light.

a blame have to be laid somewhere. the pup is lost and the stag get away. i go to the place where i bury all the swords and dig them up. one wont be nearly enough. i lay among them until sleep begin to fall over me. the dark bring a vision of a bloem that was given to me. i press it between some pages, it mean so much i want to save it. but it was so fragile. wondhen i opened that book again they fall into the sneeuw and was lost forever just like the pup. but i fall asleep even so, for there is a goodness and beauty to the truth that the stag does live tonight.

27 comments:

freya said...

**archived commentary to follow:


Pete Bogs said...
"in the woods, the snowy woods, the stag lives tonight..."

freya, maybe you should give up venison for Lent? just a thought...

I hope you didn't sullen your fine white coat with ashes yesterday...
11:25 AM  

freya said...
"you find me in da club, boddle full o blood....im into eatin' meat and not being like a dove, so come give me a hug........"

no bogshond i have bigger bads than venison. ja i take whole bath in ash. i get extra ones for u okay?
theys all over me laag von bont.

i coming over now to you yard.
11:57 AM  

Mr Q said...
Freya, that was beautifully tragic and felt. It left me feeling a bit sad, but I like it. I see that you are an inspiring hond, the sensible side of K9, Would I get crucified for mentioning his name? Hope not. There are a lot of bitches out there, but only one Freya.
1:22 PM  

Bird said...
so happy to read this post. at first, i thought the hond in pursuit of the stag was going to die -"oh no!" i said.

this tugs at the heart, but also makes one think.i like that combination.
3:33 PM  

infinitesimal said...
he also put out a tear and saw the same million stars before he sink so far you cannot ever see him again, though he were so witte and so young he give off a light.


The shivers Freya.

I understand your grammar because my first roomate in NY was Dutch illegal immigrant.

She spoke the same grammar. You are much more wonderful than she.

She was a real character.

I am not sure I know what is going on in your post. I have to read it again a few times. But the line:

"he also put out a tear and saw the same million stars before he sink so far you cannot ever see him again, though he were so witte and so young he give off a light."

Gives me the shivers. 

That light. Where do it go? 

You are wise and free and talented and dark and golden Freya. You have a beautiful name. Your voice has meaning.

~Fruhling~
3:38 PM  

temporary imposition said...
I loved this. Freya is definitely my kind of K9 - I'm looking forward to hearing more. It felt very real. Brilliant. I'm glad she got her ashes.
7:55 PM  

Ben said...
"Lost forever like the pup. ... But there is a goodness and beauty to the truth that the stag does live tonight." 

Freya. As I cannot do justice to the many-splendoured gift you have given me, I will not try. But I part from here, for now, with renewed understanding of these words:

"Let me die before I die."
(Mohammad Reza Rikhtehgaran)
10:40 AM  

Aunty Belle said...
Oooh, mah heavens white puppy--this is a something' it shure is. 

I doan know who I feels for, the stage the puppy, them fishes, or freya. 

The cycle of life, dust to dust--a good lenten theme. Lawdy, but it do bring us to the place of soul searchin'.

When is K-9 a'commin' on home? 
You lonely for that dawg?
Aunty Belle
12:08 PM  

Pete Bogs said...
yes, when is that stud of yours coming back?
3:10 PM  

mad malva blue said...
very sad and beautiful, freya ... 

it really is light and dark ...
6:57 PM  

ThursdayNext said...

Mmm. This beautiful post takes me back to tales of Chaucer's day, where stags were the center of the story and the stories were as beautiful as this post...

Quite glad to see you have your own spot, dear dog. My Rottie needs his space, you know...

Mayden's Voyage said...

I am here...I told you I would come~
K9 said you created your own page-I am happy to find you!
-Cora :)

Lady Lux said...

I was looking for the picture of the flowers in the vase...Alas!...It was not to be found in the other blog.

However...it looks even more astonishingly dramatic now that it is housed here...

prrfect.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Wow, just lovely--breathtaking, Freya.

firebird said...

I was so upset wondering where you were--welcome back, your blog is a window to a wondrous universe!

Uri said...

Celestial.

Anonymous said...

hey freya ... yeaaay you finally have your own page. lovely. just to say hi ... its velvet.

link to my proper profile

enjoy your weekend!

tiffinix said...

What gorgeous writing and style. . .chilling and beautiful.

JohnB said...

why does it seem so familiar? it reminds me of places to be traveled by starlight and sand beneath my feet, the wall of brocken rocks finally blasted through with only my mind...for there it all is and past is the sea, inky black except for the breaks, and the wall behind gaping in a grin sledged deep into the dunes and extended eternally in both directions...to this I always return not knowing what else to do.

/t. said...

love the
graphic
qualities
of both
your images & texts

also, am a big fan of Mary Shelley & Frankenstein, Frankenfreya

/t.

Lady Lux said...

hello there!...i came back here to check what's new...thanks for dropping by my bloggy'a few posts ago...hope to read up here soon...take care!..:))

AnJaka said...

Hi freya, I want to introduce you to http://freearticle.name

Bird said...

ah freya!

i have been wondering about you of late - didn't know you had joined the blogosphere in your own space.

lovely as always.

so glad you are here.

flap/flap/soar

Little Lamb said...

That's a very pretty picture.

Paul said...

Interesting, picture and words both - Ted mentions Frankenstein references...

Was Mary Shelley related to Percy Bysshe Shelley? Of all people I should know that!

Percy Bysshe Silly

piktor said...

Freya, found you on Enemy of the Republic's links. Like your blog a lot!

Infinitesimal said...

i know what this post is about.
(i think)

*ItkUpiLLi* said...

Hey Freya, Red Mantissa gave me link to your blog. And I understand why. This is just incredible nice blog. I love your images. It’s really refreshing to find you stuff.
If you don’t mind I link you blog right a way, so I find here back!!!

ArtfulSub said...

That was sad and unique and good. Never hunt alone.

Ruela said...

beautiful!

nina said...

Absolutely incredible. Oh you were right I'd like this!

There is something very Native American about it all, I am sending this to my Choctaw mystic friends.

Now, the funny thing about whatever we think is our best, means we have to go one better next time around. Its good though, keeps the challenge alive and pushing.

I'm thinking Brian Jaques, author of the Redwall Series, would really love this.

su said...

Yes I too did feed on this.
A few weeks ago the image came into being of Nina and I being abandoned dogs in the wild.
More and more in silent moments, a space in that wilderness would come into being and I would really feel the expanse and the freedom of not owning anything, not even a den.
Over two weeks of moving into this wilder space, it kept getting deeper, the experience of being wild and unconditioned.
This story resonates with that experience. The illustration captures so beautifully the story that follows.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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